LAFAYETTE, LA – In what could be one of the most significant religious discoveries since Indiana Jones unearthed that crazy box in Egypt back in the 1920’s, researchers have announced that the resurrection location of Jesus Christ was not The Garden Tomb or the Talpiot Tomb, but room 114 of the Lesspay Motel at Four Corners.

The new evidence, that have come to light through new documents discovered deep in the tombs of the Vatican, have shed a whole new perspective on the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Historian Michael C. Vickery explains just how huge of a discovery this is, and what it could possibly mean.

“In the context of religious history, this is right up there”, he said, “It’s a huge twist and turn in a timeline that we thought we knew fairly well. It asks so many new questions, like what was he doing in the Lesspay Motel? Was he asleep, or was he dead? How much did it cost him? And were his activities legal?”

“By looking at other documentation that we discovered, one theory that we have is that he was just sick of the limelight and wanted to escape for a few days. He was a poor man, and the Lesspay is probably all he could afford. He wasn’t a popular figure, and probably just wanted to kick back for a little bit without being bothered. Maybe just watched a little TV, smoked a few rollies, who knows. Whatever happened, this is an exciting new development in the Easter story of Jesus.”

Supporting new evidence does clarify one certainty, however.

“We know for sure that he hit up Laura’s Two for a plate lunch right after his emergence”, Vickery confirmed, “The receipt was in there. Fried catfish, smothered okra and a Powerade, by the looks of it. I can’t say I blame him.”

Mr. Vickery’s research is ongoing.

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