With the run-up to Christmas in full-swing, we take a look at this seasons top 10 most sought after items for the little ones this year.

7. Hacksaw Jim Duggan Apparel

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What better way to give the kids a shot to the veins of true American patriotism than through the eternal medium of Hacksaw Jim Duggan? T-shirts, hats, and authentix 2×4’s have been flying off the shelves. HOOOOOOO! USA! USA! USA!

6. “Super Cool Kids Bath-Robe In White”

9Rural-area parents have been all about this trendy white bath robe this Christmas. Although not the warmest material, it comes with a funky hood, and uber-hip eye holes! Wow!

5. Truck Nutz

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Whatever your age, truck nuts are a Louisiana staple that’ll end up right there in any kids stocking along with the Reese’s Pieces. Now widely available to attach onto any driveable kids car, parents across the state can’t wait to let you know that their little Johnny is a douche-in-the-making!

4. The Qur’an

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Evidently not satisfied with concentrating on their own religion and faith, parents are buying up copies of the Qur’an in huge quantities in an effort to cherry-pick the fuck out of it and teach their little shits how everyone who follows this book is the devil reincarnate. PRAISE BE!

3. Springfield M1A Mossy Oak Edition

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A law enforcement favorite – and now a kids favorite! This semi-auto is a popular choice this festive season. And the proprietary muzzle stabilizer ensures that no matter how jittery your toddler is, he’ll make that shot every time!

2. A Trip of a Lifetime to Gulfport

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Louisiana parents are clearly looking to broaden their youngsters minds this year, and taking the bold decision to cross Louisiana state lines to let them see the big wide world out there. It appears that there’s no greater place to discover yourself and fill your chils minds with wonder and amazement than Gulfport, MS. Beautiful.

1. Red’s Gym Membership

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The number one gift for kids for the 6th year running! There’s nothing that brings a tear to the eye quicker than watching the young ones pretend to bench-press 250 and do a couple of laps of the pool for two days of the year, then refusing to ever go again but pretending that they still do becuase they have the membership card in their wallet.

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